The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted browse around here to very tough to withstand. Then, after directory orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, wellness, nearness, and love .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that numerous of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urbane locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is investigate this site a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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