The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to browse this site produce feelings), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is a knockout post easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. web link This suggests integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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