The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

However when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that much of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that additional reading chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options next page by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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