The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner. find out this here

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and nearness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay males desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire check here to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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